Hell, it might even inspire you to buy a new couch, because everything about the disgusting pit of filth you live in screams new couch. Regardless, it’s not like it’s endless entertainment, but considering you are on your fourteenth run through of Friends and picking what appears to be dried cheese off the crotch of your ironically worn jogging pants, it’s not the worst idea to justify your hopeless struggle with healthy movement. The Couch Potato app is available now and probably won’t exist forever. Because as humans, we also get off on meaningless rewards, like arbitrary leveling up in a sitting app. Except, that’s exactly what your zit-laden shit-skin fortress needs. The last thing your flat, uninspired ass needs is an app encouraging you to sit more. The OG Couch Potato Sofa’s sleek design means it blends right in in the room, but still presents as a beautifully-crafted, high-quality piece. Also, we as Americans are fat, lazy, Cheetos eating slobs. It’s adorable when businesses release companion apps that take a sarcastic spin on its product line.
If theres competition for the best spot, reserve it, or do a deal to get it for your couch potato slouch time. The app does reward you with coupons to not only purchase a new couch from Burrow to plaster with dried excretions, wet pizza, and animal dander, but for services like Drizly and Vinebox, as well – because nothing encourages athletic sitting like alcohol delivery services. Choose the best place in the room for reclining in complete comfort. Sit longer, heart health be damned, and proclaim yourself the winner of the most effective bum contest you are having with yourself. With the Couch Potato app, you certainly don’t want to give off the impression you are physically active.Īs indicated in the video that you are way too lazy to watch, there are nine levels of pure sloth to be achieved. That means you should leave your phone on the couch if your binge-sitting leads to binge-masturbation. It is available on Apple iOS because, like fitness trackers, it needs the motion and fitness tracking available on the iPhone in order to ignore any movement.
The app is called Couch Potato and works in the opposite way of fitness trackers. As if your significant other yelling from the kitchen isn’t already doing that. So what’s the best way to sell you a couch? Remind you how lazy you are through an app that tracks your inactivity. The distinction between the two is akin to the difference between an Americano and iced coffee. Burrow is a company that sells couches, or sofas.
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